ELLIE GONSALVES: Fitness Friday

Ellie Gonsalves
FITNESS FRIDAY


"Fit is Sexy" 

YOU CAN FEEL SORE 
TOMORROW OR
YOU CAN FEEL SORRY 
TOMORROW.
YOU CHOOSE. 


Ellie Gonsalves ♥  Live with Passion


running bare it's a girl thing
www.runningbare.com.au

Ellie Gonsalves
International Model ✧ Australia Zoo Ambassador & Wildlife Warrior ✧ Incredible Swim Collection Designer ✧ 
Business Woman ✧ Actress ✧ Young Entrepreneur ✧ Health, Fitness & Green Living Advocate ✧ 
Veve Swimwear Ambassador ✧ Positive Thinker ✧ Aquarian (♒) 
{ www.elliegonsalves.com }

twitter: Twitter.com/EllieGonsalves
Facebook: Facebook.com/elliegonsalvespublicpage
instagram: @elliegonsalves
blogger: elliegonsalves.blogspot.com 


If you loved this article. Read more about our Glamour Gal Ellie Gonsalves. 

  

Ellie Enchanted by Elephant

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"This is not a good project at all"

I've been thinking lately about publishing a book, going the self-publishing route. There are all kinds of pros and cons around that, which I have studied thoroughly, and for what I want to do, it seems like the way to go. So I've decided I'm going to go ahead and do it. To do it the way I want requires some money though. Not a lot but some. To that end, I applied for a grant from the Hillsborough County Arts Council. Let me state right up front that I did not expect to get it. I know my material doesn't have mass appeal, certainly doesn't qualify as "art" and that this would be a fairly self-indulgent venture. Still, there was the potential of getting $1000 to pull it off, and nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Plus, I'd never applied for a grant before and figured if nothing else, it would be educational.



Oh, I got schooled all right.


Grants are tricky in that there are very specific instructions and criteria and attention to detail is crucial. I did it myself, to the best of my ability but felt that I was compliant with what was required. Again, I never got my hopes up but I felt pretty good about what I was able to put together and submit.


Last week, the committee that reviews the grant proposals met to give their recommendations. The notice for the meeting stated that applicants would not be allowed to offer a presentation but may be asked questions. I got the impression that it would be best if I attended, just in case by some fluke I had submitted something that may actually be borderline considerable. If that were the case, and answering a question or two spelled the difference between success and failure, I'd be crazy to not be there. Nothing ventured, nothing gained...


It's kind of a blur now (why that is will be made clear in a minute) but I think there were eight people on the panel, all representing various areas of expertise, giving scores based on the different criteria. In order to qualify for anything beyond initial consideration, the proposal needed an average score of 160 (out of a possible 200). Of course, at this point I still thought I had no shot. I fully expected to fail. Not in a fatalistic, "boo hoo, I suck, nobody likes me" way but as mentioned, simply because I don't think what I do is really the kind of thing an "arts council" would fund.


Boy, was I right.


I think mine was the third or fourth one to be reviewed. Susan Edwards, who was there as the literary expert led off with, "This is not a good project at all."


Wow. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it was not that. Maybe "this really isn't the kind of thing we do" or even "this needs work, go back and try again another time". And even then, tacked on at the end; not leading off with an outright dismissal due to being utterly devoid of any merit whatsoever. I definitely didn't expect a kick in the nuts, which is what I got. At some point between then and when she got done, I went into a state of shock. I tuned out and and stared at the floor, far too humiliated to even think about standing up and walking out. No, instead I stayed there until they adjourned for a break, slinking out a side door as quickly and stealthily as possible. I'll admit to being overly sensitive in some cases. However, I'm also very good at summoning up thick skin in situations when I think I'll need it, such as this one. In other words, I came in fully prepared to fail and fail hard. I did not prepare to fail, fail hard and be insulted. The insult was delivered with her score: "I give this 25 points."


Remember, 160 was required for bare minimum consideration to advance; she gave me less than 20% of what would be needed for a bare minimum passing grade. 25, not 0. You're not supposed to take rejection or criticism personally, especially if you're a writer. But that's giving someone a D- on a term paper instead of an F for spelling their name right. That's leaving a penny on the table instead of nothing at all because you want your server to know that you were dissatisfied and didn't merely forget to leave a tip. 25, not 0. That's an insult and it's also a rebuke. That's a recommendation that the writer's fingers be forcibly removed and replaced with some sort of implements incapable of gripping a pen or striking keys. That's not rejection or criticism. That's a "screw you". How do you not take that personally?  I don't know if anybody applied for funds to make pictures of seabirds by gluing macaroni to construction paper and mounting them on hunks of driftwood, but I can't imagine them getting worse feedback than I got.



This, combined with some pretty serious stress from a couple of personal issues I was attempting to deal with at the same time, sent me into a pretty severe tailspin. Oh, I brooded and I brooded hard. "This is not a good project at all." I was devastated. Over and over in my head, destroying me again and again. Did I retain anything even slightly positive from the experience, anything even remotely constructive? "...not...at all."


I don't know why, when or how but I eventually pulled myself out of it. Anytime something like this happens to me, there's never an "A-ha!"epiphany self-realization moment. Pep talks don't work. I think I just get tired of it. It's not like I'm smart enough to quit or brave enough to kill myself over it. So I guess I just get bored and move on to whatever the next thing is.


In the end, I'm at square one, which isn't really a surprise (I did mention that I didn't expect to get this grant, didn't I?). I don't know if Susan Edwards hates me for some reason (as far as I know, we've never even met). At this point, I don't give a shit. I do wonder how often things like this happen to other people. I kind of hope it's not infrequent. Otherwise, it means I'm the worst grant applicant in the history of grant applications. And I don't even know that she or anyone in her position is obligated to pat people like me on the head and protect our dewicate wittle feewings. But nobody likes to be kicked when they're down. And of course, she had no possible way of knowing that I was down. But why bother kicking at all? I feel bad for anybody who's just hung it up as a result of an interaction like this, though.


As for me, I'll be fine. I'm still going to do what I do, I'm going to do it the way I think it should be done and I'm going to use this little incident (it's not even a setback, since the only thing I lost was the time and energy I wasted feeling bad about it) as motivation.


So...thanks, I guess.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: screw you, too.





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SUMMER GODDESS: Lauren Vickers

Summer Goddess
Lauren Vickers


Lauren is wearing the Kristie gold bikini by Sheridyn Swim.

Photography by Trevor Godhino

  
Lauren is wearing bikinis by Blue Kiss Swimwear
Photography by Brad Mawby 


Lauren Vickers
PLAYBOY Spain January 2012 
Spanish Playboy Playmate January 2012

Our November 2011 Glamour Gal Lauren Vickers graced the cover of last month's Playboy Espana. This is her 2nd featured international Playboy cover story after being crowned Italian Playboy's Playmate of the Year and scoring her 1st Playboy cover in December 2010. 

 
Lauren is wearing Maneater Swimwear

 

Photographer: Pau Palacios  |  Hair & Makeup: Fidel Martin  |  Stylist: Lia Lazaro

Loved this article? Read more about our Glamour Gal Lauren Vickers:
Lauren Vickers: Glamour Gal November 2011
  

Lauren Vickers: Summer Goddess

watch video on youtube.com


Lauren Vickers ♥ feel good. look good. do good.
twitter: twitter.com/LaurenKVickers
Facebook: Facebook.com/laurenkvickers
instagram: @laurenkvickers
official: www.laurenvickers.com

Maneater Swimwear maneaterswimwear.com
Sheridyn Swim sheridynswim.com.au

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Hyperbole must die!

There's an internet meme called "breading". What is it? Well, I'm very glad you asked. Because what it is is tearing a small hole in a piece of bread, putting it on your cat's head, taking a picture of it and posting it on line, as seen in the accompanying photograph:


(Note: This is NOT my cat)

Is it unquestionably pointless and irredeemably stupid? Yep.


Is it anything else? Nope.


But that doesn't stop people on Facebook from having really unnecessarily strong opinions about it...

"These cats don't look very happy a few look down right scared." - somebody named Teresa


"How sad." - somebody named Chris


"Really? Really? The cats don't think it's funny." - somebody named Janet


"Nice that some people have food to waste while others are starving" - somebody named Christine

Even though it's not my thing, I know there are a lot of people who get a big kick out of being righteously indignant. And if getting all worked up about cats with a piece of bread on their heads at the expense of all the starving people without bread to put on their heads keeps them from straying off and casting judgment on what's right and wrong about which people are sticking what objects into whichever other people's orifices, then by all means, have at it. I don't think the cats are in any serious discomfort but if couching it as anti-cruelty to animals helps, even better (Do I think the cats like it? No, probably not. I don't put bread on my cats heads. They do like chewing on electric wires and I don't let them do that. Come at me, Sarah McLachlan!). Of course, somebody always has to take it just a bit too far...

"This is why America is in trouble......stupid idiots have nothing better to do" - somebody named Linda

I'm not even going to comment on the obvious irony of someone taking time to sit down and comment on the internet about idiots (the stupid kind) with nothing better to do. But I am going to take issue with their basic premise; that being if people who put bread on cat's heads would simply apply themselves, we could eliminate poverty, health problems and the Westboro Baptist Church.

I'm sorry, but people who make proclomations about what's wrong with America are what's wrong with America.

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Amy's Big Biceps on Her Flex Appeal.com


At 6-1 and 170 pounds, Amy definitely
earned the nickname of "Amazon Amy" the honest way.  






The former basketball player now
competes in figure. Aside from her stature, her biceps are equally as
impressive. We submit the following two photos as evidence.






You can see more Amy on
HerFlexAppeal.com.



















Cool news for comedy fans on a budget!

Q: What's cooler than when a noble experiment produces postive results?
A: When those results signal the start of a movement.

Check out what pasty, Hot Pocket loving/hating comedian Jim Gaffigan posted on his web site last Wednesday:

Dear Internet Friends,


Inspired by the brilliant Louis CK, I have decided to debut my all-new hour stand-up special on my website, Jimgaffigan.com.


Beginning sometime in April, “Jim Gaffigan: Mr. Universe” will be available exclusively for download for only $5. A dollar from each download will go directly to The Bob Woodruff Foundation; a charity dedicated to serving injured Veterans and their families.


I am confident that the low price of my new comedy special and the fact that 20% of each $5 download will be donated to this very noble cause will prevent people from stealing it. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I trust you guys. Besides who would want the karma of stealing money from wounded Veterans? Come on you guys. How dare you even think about it?


I know I am taking a risk here. People I respect have advised me to take the safer, more traditional route with the premiere of the special. However, I am incredibly motivated by the courage of Louie to offer his fans direct access for a low price. Buyers of my special can be assured that their money will go directly to feeding and raising my four children instead of a giant corporation. I will self-produce a high quality special with all new material that will be incredibly easy to download and then you will own it. Forever. For $5. Roughly the price of five packs of Ramen Noodles. And believe me my special is going to be much better than five packs of disgusting Ramen Noodles. Gross.


Not going with a big corporation means I wont have any advertising. There will be no bells and whistles or billboards but maybe you can help. If you like the special, tell you friends to download it too. That’s the best kind of advertising anyway.


I must admit that I have not felt this excited and nervous since I first tried stand up over 100 years ago. It’s humbling to take a risk that you are not sure will work. You don't know if a joke will bomb unless you try it.


If no one buys the special or if lots of people steal it then I suppose I will lose a lot of money and have egg on my face. But then again I have four kids so I am always losing money and usually have egg or some kind of food on my face so it might just feel normal.

Let me know what you think.

Your Best Friend,
Jim

@JimGaffigan
Facebook.com/JimGaffigan
Jimgaffigan.tumblr.com

Of course, I'm thrilled. Not only because Gaffigan makes me laugh (Hot Pockets make his back hurt) but because this further erodes the wall between artists and fans that has padded the pockets of middlemen (and women...let's not be sexist when chronicling the exploits of parasites) for far too long.

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